#not simple

[fagmegumi]

HIGHLY recommend this btw

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[kenapiece-main]

Can you believe I'm having to make this meme even after successfully finishing up taxes and applying to job

[malwarechips]

yknow i never noticed the sheer rareness of images having ids or alt text on this website until i started adding alt text to my art (and trying to remember to add it to any images i post in general, especially text screenshots) and that makes me kinda sad

[shamefulzombie]

Not Perfect

[time-woods]

Accessorize ! Accessorize ! Accessorize !

based off of how my dad got his ears pierced))

[myspace]

Simple Plan recording the What’s New Scooby-Doo? theme song

[canisalbus]

✦ Pebble ✦

[oatmealspet]

Over 800 TAG members marched on Netflix & delivered a petition demanding the AMPTP keep #animation jobs #union, agree to AI protections & more. Show the AMPTP that you #standwithanimation. Sign your name next to the people that make the shows you love.

[poemale]

　 　 　 　⍰　 kaomoji elements　 ര

　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　  　 　 create ur own kaomoji w/ me !!

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eyes

ˊ ˋ　 ◞ ◟　  .ܸ .ܸ　 • •　  › ‹　 o̴̶̷᷄ o̴̶̷̥᷅　  ≧ ≦

ˇ ˇ　 ◜◝　   ◡◡⁠　 •̀ •́　 ^^　 ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀　  ꈍ ꈍ

⏑ ⏑　 ◝ ◜　 _ ̫ _　 •́ •̀　 ⊳⊲　 o̴̶̷̤ o̴̶̷̤　  ˃̶̤́ ˂̶̤̀

´ ｀ 　 -᷅ -᷄　  .⁠ .⁠　  ߹ ߹　 ՞ ՞⁠　 ಠ ಠ　 ᴗ͈ ᴗ͈

mouths

ᵕ　 ⤙　 ᴖ　 Ⱉ　  △　 ࿁　 ꕀ　  ‸

༝　 ‿　 ⌓　 ⩊　   ⌑　  ｡　 ㅁ　 ⇀

̫　 ֊　  ᎔　  ᗜ　  Д⁠　  ³　 ᯅ　  ˬ　 　 　 　 　 

noses

˶　 ᵜ　 ᆺ　 ˕　 ܫ

˔　 ᴥ　 ɷ　  ̷　 ꀾ　 

ears

ᐢ ᐢ　  ᕱ ᕱ　 ᕬ ᕬ　 ᙏ　  ᵔ ᵔ　 ᐡ ᐡ　 

∩∩　 ꪒ ꪒ　 ՞ ՞　 ⍝ ⍝　 ᥥ ᥥ　 ᘏᘏ

hands / arms

ก ก　 ٩ ۶　 ⊃⊂　 ᑌ ᑌ　 ദ്ദി　  ა૮

ฅ ฅ　 ੭ ᐣ  っ ς　 ੭ ੭　 ੭っ　 ∩ ∩

brackets

𝇋 𝇌　 ૮ ა　 ૮₍ ₎ა　  ( ິ )ິ　 ໒꒰ྀི ྀི꒱७  ૮ ོ ོ𑁬

₍ ₎　 ꒰ ꒱ྀི　 ૮꒰ ꒱ა　 ᧔ ᧓　 ᧔ྀི ᧓ྀི　 ʕ ྀི ྀིʔ

꒰ ꒱　 ଘ꒰ ꒱　 ꒰ ੭ ꒱ ᐣ　 𓊆 𓊇　 ᑦ꒰ྀིྀི ྀྀི꒱ᐣ 　 ૮꒰ྀི ꒱ྀིა

　

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[lo-fag]

idk man. i just think itd be really cool if sign language classes were mandatory throughout primary school. yeah because it would make communication with deaf kids and autistic/nonverbal kids much easier. and those kids would be accessible to the others so they could make friends and have healthy relationships. yeah. and kids would eat that shit up man. like their own little secret language? they love that.

[adyophene]

Husk's secret weapon

[basketobread]

yes.

[hinamie]

mentor

[urmumhaha]

I wish butch n femme balls existed. Not to b a fucking sap n a massive dyke but wow. Ugh even. Just wanna wear a gown n stilettos n have my honey greet me w a bouquet before we leave n we wear matching or complimentary jewelry n spend hours on my hair and makeup to impress. N then when we get there my honey will spin me around the room for a brief dance before grabbing something to drink, wine for me n whiskey for her, as we chat w other dykes n celebrate butchfemmeness. Or whatever